Owen was an amazing young man who was compassionate, sincere, and loving. He was an engaged listener. He was empathetic. Owen excelled in school and was admired by his family and community for his outstanding artwork, kindness, and character. In his 18 short years on earth, he brought me such joy and pride as a mother. Owen made me a better person. Despite his many wonderful traits, Owen also had mental health struggles including ADHD, anxiety, and OCD. We did our best to help him with his mental “unwellness” through therapy, many doctor visits, and medication. Unfortunately, it was not enough, and his disease won.
Since Owen’s death I have reflected on purpose. Up until this moment in my life, I have thought I was living my intended purpose. I was a good mom, wife, and friend. I was helping my patients and saving lives. I loved the challenges and rewards of being a doctor. Before Owen’s death this year, I had planned to leave my pulmonary practice and start a new practice where I planned to bridge the science of traditional medicine with the focus on whole body/mind wellness, that one sees in a more holistic approach to healthcare. Just when I think I have my plan, God throws me an unexpected tragedy. I am trying to lean into my new purpose as a grieving mother who is thankful for having 18 years with a wonderful son, and also as a physician whose passion lies in helping people live their best lives. I feel like the glass I was made of, shattered into millions of pieces when Owen died, and now, just like the Japanese art of Kintsugi, I am trying to piece myself together by showing who I am, becoming whole again, but also continue to help others.
As a pulmonary critical care physician, one might presume that my career to date has nothing to do with mental health. In reality, from my experience in the ICU (with discussion of quality of life, death, and dying), to my time in pulmonary clinic taking care of patients nearing death from end stage lung disease to suffering with a variety of post-COVID concerns, my approach to the practice of medicine involves addressing both the physical and mental aspects of health in the context of whole-body wellness. Despite so many advances in medicine, I was seeing many people who simply were not living well and often struggled with stress, anxiety, depression, addiction, and loneliness. My observation was that mental wellness and social wellbeing were not being emphasized in most healthcare models or prioritized in our society as a whole.
In Owen's honor, the Goldfinch Foundation (GFF) aims to empower our community members to live their best lives. It is important for our young people to know the science that exists about activities that can help and harm our mental health. We aim to provide this information in an unbiased manner from the experts in the field. We will introduce the importance of mindfulness and social connection. In honor of Owen, we will create safe spaces for others which encourages curiosity and compassion, rather than judgement.
People who spend less time on their phones have less depression and anxiety. Older people who are more social and spend more time outdoors, and exercise regularly, live longer, healthier, happier lives. Listening to music helps those with chronic pain, dementia, and Parkinsons. We all could be living happier and healthier lives, but it requires a significant culture shift.
The GFF will help guide our community to change. It is time to step away from our screens and engage more in human interaction. Let’s get outside, listen to live music, stop scrolling, host an art party with friends, or call a friend to walk or play pickleball. Let’s create safe, compassionate spaces for others to share their struggles without judgement. If we don’t talk about the ups and downs of life and the struggles that are part of being human, we are being dishonest with ourselves. We need to recognize that there is strength in vulnerability. The GFF mission is to shine light on the importance of mental wellness and empower our young people to lead the change.